5 Cozy Games Re-imagined As Violent Experiences
Let’s take a load off, shall we? Sometimes you still want to entertain yourself with some virtual fun without needing to commit too heavily to mentally taxing mechanics or a heavy storyline. You might simply prefer cozy games in general. But what if I told you all it takes is a few minor tweaks for these cozy games to become unholy repositories of bloody violence? Let’s get up from our plushy beanbag chairs and equip some weapons for this journey!
#1 Stardew Valley
Create the farm of your dreams! Make some new friends! And why not see if there’s romance in the air while you’re at it? Cute, cozy, and visually relaxing, its pixelated art style makes it a staple in the cozy games genre. So let’s RUIN it!
You’ve inherited your very own farm and get to have fun making it your own! Now that much is the same, but with one tiny change. As it turns out, your old grandpappy never knew you were a serial killer on the run. Now you have to keep up a front of being this kind-natured denizen of the town, all the while piling bodies in the barn to use as the perfect fertilizer. After all, you still want to make your farm successful!
But be careful! If anyone catches your mask slipping, they might spread the word! Should that happen, you are known to always have your shovel handy. “BONK! Sorry, Sebastian, but we can’t let ya be tellin’ people about my little secret!”
#2 American Truck Simulator
Now this is a totally different type of cozy. You only have to worry about 3 things: Your cool truck, your radio, and thousands of miles of wide-open road. Relish in the sights of the American landscape, chasing sunsets, sunrises, and delivery deadlines. Why, that sounds wonderfully casual and cozy, doesn’t it? Now, let’s recontextualize that initial description, shall we? Cozy games who?
You only have to worry about three things. Your 80,000lb behemoth of metal that can flatten a person without noticing, your radio that’s tapped into police comms, and thousands of miles worth of options for escape. Oh, as a bonus, you have no brakes. So while you desperately try to escape the authorities, you find that sometimes, sidewalks are a better option. The fact that people are usually found there is just unfortunate luck on their part.
“Life is a highway! I wanna *thump thump* riiiiide it all night looooong!”
#3 Mahjong
Yet another different type of cozy game. This one may not have been in your top 10 or even top 100 list of cozy games. But let’s be real, if you’ve ever discovered this in your youth during computer class, where every fun site is blocked, this was your best option. Wait, what? That was just me? Well, let’s make it more violent anyway!
There are varying ways to play the game, but I am focusing on the online version, where it’s effectively an easy-going, solitary match-two game. I can already hear the question of “How could you make this violent?”, and to that, I say unlock your imagination, friend. It’s a matching game, and tiles can only be cleared with their pair if they’re exposed in a specific way. And that much stays the same. However, my little tweak is that the tiles are actually… wait for it. Demons!
Now every time you find a match, these “tiles” don’t simply just disappear, that’s way too cozy! They, of course, have to explode in a bloody mess, filling the screen with demonic viscera.
#4 Candy Crush Saga
Whether it’s your mom, grandfather, or lame out-of-touch boss, you have no doubt known at least several people who have played this game. You may have even tried it yourself (don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone). And to make sure I don’t do the exact same as I did with Mahjong, let’s take this cozy game and make it into a more thrilling and violent symphony of chaos!
The match-three gameplay is still at the core. However, instead of cute, colorful candies to match, we have, you guessed it, body parts! But what happens to the parts when we’ve matched them? Wow, you’re right again! The parts are added to your own personal flesh-golem abomination! When you complete each level, you get to see it wreak havoc on other monsters! Yay violence! Cozy games? More like cozy lames! (I kid, I kid.)
This would mean the chaos that ensues after every game will be entirely unique, as the abominations will be of a different assortment of body parts every single time. You know what they say: There’s no such thing as too many eyes! People do say that, right?
#5 Animal Crossing
Last but not least, we need to give credit to another cozy icon. With adorably colorful and round anthropomorphic characters, this game is the pinnacle of cozy and casual. So how in the world can we re-imagine it to give it an “M” rating? Too easy! It’s baked into the premise!
You are a human character moving into a cute little town made up of anthropomorphic citizens. Sure, that’s still the same. And with its open-ended gameplay style, you’re encouraged to do whatever tickles your fancy. Make new friends? Go Fishing? Whatever you want! Okay, so that’s still the same as well. But you are the sole human in this little mini-verse, right? And what do humans historically love doing more than anything else? You’re right on the money! CONQUER EVERYTHING WITH A BLOODY IRON FIST!
The cute townsfolk? I think you mean incredibly versatile and loyal minions to aid in your unstoppable campaign. Wandering the cute landscape chasing butterflies? I think you meant to say wandering and reaching through the veil of reality and entering other Animal-Crossing worlds. Will they submit to your empire? Or shall they be crushed by the mountainous piles of corpses of all who dared to defy your rule?
Yikes, that got dark real fast. But hey, I know at least some of these sound like games you’d actually want to see made. Violent or cozy, gamers love games (Duh!), and it should be as simple as that!
