Call of Duty: Black Ops 7 Is a Dumpster Fire, and I’m Here for the Show
Another year, another Call of Duty. This time, Treyarch decided to bless us with Black Ops 7, a game that feels less like a polished AAA title and more like a fever dream cooked up by a 12-year-old after a a ten-hour Skibidi Toilet marathon. And you know what? It’s fascinatingly bad. Black Ops 7 isn’t just a misstep; it’s a swan dive into a pool of nonsense, and it’s already earning its place as one of the worst-rated entries in the franchise’s history. But hey, at least it’s not boring.
When Activision teased a “mind-bending sci-fi thriller,” I don’t think anyone expected this level of absurdity. Players are already review-bombing the game into oblivion on Metacritic, with the PS5 version currently sitting at a jaw-droppingly low 1.5 user score. Fans are furious, comparing the campaign to “brain rot” and lamenting the good old days of Modern Warfare and the original Black Ops. One user perfectly summed it up: “I wanted a game about wars… But they made a game of fantasies, dreams, and nightmares.” You and me both, pal.
What is Happening in the Black Ops 7 Campaign?
If you tried to explain the plot of Black Ops 7 to a stranger, you’d sound completely unhinged. The campaign is a chaotic jumble of ideas that barely connects. You’re on a secret island, then you’re drugged, then you’re fighting robots, zombies, and… a giant plant monster? Oh, and there’s a boss fight against a giant Michael Rooker. Yes, you read that correctly. A giant, floating Michael Rooker.
The story feels like it was pieced together in a week, which isn’t surprising given that Treyarch was also the lead on last year’s Black Ops 6. The whole four-hour experience is a relentless assault on the senses. The only saving grace is the gunplay, which still feels as crisp as ever. Sliding, jumping, and the new wall-hopping mechanic are genuinely fun, but it’s hard to enjoy them when you’re fighting bullet-sponge enemies that make you question your life choices.
To make matters even weirder, the campaign introduces an always-online open world hub between missions. It adds absolutely nothing to the experience and is probably the reason you can’t even pause the game while playing solo. It’s just another bizarre decision in a game full of them.
Is the Black Ops 7 Multiplayer Any Good?
Okay, so the campaign is a write-off. But what about the multiplayer? This is Call of Duty, after all. Most people are here for the endless cycle of deathmatch. The good news is that multiplayer is better than the campaign. The bad news? That’s not saying much.
If you played Black Ops 6, you’ll feel an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. The gunplay, menus, and perks are nearly identical. The problem is that the new weapons all feel bland and indistinct. I spent hours trying to find a gun I loved, but they all just blended together. The new maps are also forgettable, feeling either too large for standard modes or just uninspired. The only standout maps are the ones recycled from previous Black Ops games, which tells you everything you need to know.
The biggest new feature is the wall hop, which builds on the omnimovement from BLOPS 6. It’s a genuinely cool addition that adds a new layer to movement, allowing for creative ambushes and escapes. But even this can’t save the multiplayer from feeling like a glorified expansion pack rather than a full-fledged sequel.
Is This the End for Call of Duty?
In a vacuum, Black Ops 7 is just another weird, over-the-top entry that the franchise will probably recover from. But this isn’t happening in a vacuum. It’s launching against Battlefield 6, a game that’s going back to its grounded, realistic roots. While Call of Duty still has sharper moment-to-moment gameplay, Battlefield is delivering what fans actually want.
Black Ops 7 feels like a desperate attempt to throw everything at the wall to see what sticks, and unfortunately, none of it does. It’s an incoherent mess that feels rushed and disconnected from its audience. Activision’s refusal to give the franchise a break has finally caught up with them, and Black Ops 7 is the casualty. Oh well, there’s always next year… right?
